My Immortal Rewrite
by StephanoGoldenEdition
Summary: So, here's my go at rewrite this piece of fertilizer...This is gonn' be fun! Rated for...well, if you've read it, you'll get it.
1. Chapter 1

**So, I've seen several of these around, so I've decided to repost the infamously terrible fanfiction "My Immortal". Yes, I **_**know **_**there are like fifty thousand remakes of this, but I might give it a shot!**

**This is your last chance...turn back now, or suffer.**

Chapter 1.

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) **(then why point out? Some innocent people could just think that you meant that as your friend who is a girl, like my Dad would say...)** raven, bloodytearz666 **(Your **_**friend**_**? *cough*Ihighlydoubtthat*cough*)** 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling** (The spelling is...I'd hate to see what it's like **_**without **_**Raven's 'help')**. U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX! **(No they don't!)**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way **(huge ass name...) **and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) **(Imaginative. 'S like calling your daughter Blonde if she has blonde hair, or 'Ginger' if she has red hair) **with purple streaks and red tips **(I'm guessing that's not natural...wait, imagine if it was O.o)** that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears **(What the hell are limpid tears?) **and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee **(They were lying, methinks)** (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!)**(That was a huge run-on sentence)**. I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. **(No he's not, well not to me, but each to her own...)** I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight **(Fail of a vampire then, aren't you?) **and white** (Why not yellow?)**. I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch **(No. Freaking. Way. *Gasp* PLOT TWIST!)**, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England **(*cough*getyourgeographyright*cough) **where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) **(Let's have a moment of silence for the goth people out there who have read this) **and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic **(Funnily enough, I've heard about this place before, heard it mentioned in a book...it actually seems like a cool place. Unfourtuneatly, this story has ruined it for me)** and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets **(Why pink? Not red?)** and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation **(and you're already pale...doesn't pale come with the whole vampire thing?)**, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining **(how...? The author's logic amazes me...)** so there was no sun **(no duh)**, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me **(I don't blame them. I would be. In horror)**. I put up my middle finger at them. **(Temper, temper, love...)**

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy! **(...)**

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly. **(Pft! As if Draco would act shy.)**

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away. **(And fall of a cliff into a pit of bad-tempered, venomous snakes? No? Oh.)**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

AN: IS it good? **(I can't say the words I want to...)** PLZ tell me fangz!

**Well, there you have it. I'm already sick of it...review? I'm not used to this, but I hope I'll get better with practise!**

**Stephano.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2! Damn, I have a headache, and I'm tired...and I'm sitting in a position that is sort of slanting, and stuff is happening and herpaderp and BLERSH.**

**Excuse that.**

Chapter 2.

AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta **(Pray tell what help she gave you)**! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok! **(No! Not OK! It's NOT OK!1111)**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX **(Why is there a 666 in there?)**

The next day I woke up in my bedroom **(Kudos on that. –tinny-sounding applause)**. It was snowing and raining again **(Damnit...)**. I opened the door of my coffin **(OMGOSH! A COFFIN!)** and drank some blood from a bottle I had **(Nice to know)**. My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet **(Very 'goff'...that colour is so garish!) **with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas **(Wouldn't you be...no, wait, you're a vampire! Cancel that!)**. Instead **(Oh God)**, I put on a black leather dress **(Eww)**, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears **(I've never understood that. How can people have more than 2 ear piercings at a time? Wouldn't that be painful?)**, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun. **(I put my hair up in a **_**neat bun**_**, bitch)**

My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!) woke up then and grinned at me **(CREEPY AS HELL)**. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes **(Listening to Amaranth. Maybe it'll help me get through this piece of fertilizer?)**. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. **(NO-ONE GIVES A FERTALISER).** We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.) **(I find that repulsive, as I hate makeup...)**

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly. **(Gossip? 'Tis a **_**bad thing**_**, as my teacher says)**

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing. **(Why blush? If I blushed every time a guy talked to me...cancel that)**

"Do you like Draco?" **(Presumptuous)** she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted. **(No need to be so...harsh. Did our favourite little goff sleep bad?)**

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me. **(NO! LEAVE NOW BEFORE SHE TRAPS YOU!)**

"Hi." he said. **(-facepalm- Too late...)**

"Hi." I replied flirtily.

"Guess what." he said.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me. **(How. The. Hell. Is. This. Possible?)**

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" **(DON'T SAY THAT)** I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR.

"Well…. do you want to go with me?" he asked.

I gasped.

_**("NO" I screamed, bitchslapping him**_**. No?)**

**DONE. Freaking headache...well, here's this chapter gone.**

**Stephano~**


	3. Chapter 3

**-Giggle- This is fun! I honestly don't care if this gets reviews or not (yet...), I'm just doing this for fun!**

Chapter 3.

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK! **(No.)** odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws! **(I bet Raven left tons of anonymous positive reviews to make the author feel better) **FANGS AGEN RAVEN! oh yeah, BTW I don't own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte. **(I'd shoot myself if you did)**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. **(Guess what!? I spent 15 minutes trying to find the bacon section at the shops today! Guess what! It was nowhere near the meat section!)** I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. **(O.O)** I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. **(I find it funny how casual she is about this. "Oh, I made my wrists bleed? I'll just read and listen to music, haha.") ** I painted my nails black and put on TONS **(I said TONS!) **of black eyeliner **(That would look freaking hideous)**. Then I put on some black lipstick **(Again...)**. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway **(Did she just realise it? I mean, really!?)**. I drank some human blood **(-shudder-)** so I was ready to go to the concert. **(Oh, sure! I do that all the time! "Oh, we're going out, Mum? Well, wait! Lemme drink my blood first!" **_**"WHAT!?**__"__**)**_

I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car **(It'd be hard to stand in front of it if it was flying, fool)**. He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt **(NO.)**(they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!). **(YOU KILLED HIM! –spazzing- I HATE YOU1111!) (Sorry.)**

"Hi Draco!" I said in a depressed voice. **(How is that possible? Being depressed with an '!'?)**

"Hi Ebony." he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz **(What the hell is that)**(the license plate said 666) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson **(Good Charlotte is...okay, I guess, but Marilyn Manson? NO.)**. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. **(Great role models)** When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. **(Hopped? As is, hopped on one foot, or like rabbits, or what?) (Oh, dear! I have an image of Ebony hopping around on one foot with Draco!) **We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte. **(I've been to a concert or two, and the jumping kills me. Of course, that could be due to the fact that I'm unfit.)**

"You come in cold, you're covered in blood  
They're all so happy you've arrived  
The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom  
She sets you free into this life." sang Joel (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song).**(Nice to hear you like positive music!)**

"Joel is so fucking hot." I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Draco looked sad. **(Sad that he realises who he keeps company with?)**

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed **(Moshing is dangerous!)** to the music. Then I caught on. **(SO slow, idiot)**

"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said. **(Oh, yes you do!)**

"Really?" asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective. **(-facepalm-)**

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face. **(You know, I just want to know what the hell her problem is with Hilary Duff! I mean, I don't even know why! Maybe because she's what Tara would call a prep...)**

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco **(Lol, that sounded like an afterthought)**. After the concert, we drank some beer **(how are you not intoxicated to the point of unconsciousness?)** and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them **(**_**"NO!" he screeched, stabbing Ebony in the heart, "AWAY, DEMONSPAWN!"**_**)**. We got GC concert tees. **(Don't you have like 50 of them?) **Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into… the Forbidden Forest! **(Gasp! PLOT TWIST!11111) **


	4. Chapter 4

**God, this chapter is short!**

Chapter 4.

AN: I sed stup flaming ok ebony's name is ENOBY **(Ah! My favourite version of her name!)** nut mary su OK! DRACO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok! **(...what?)**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"DRACO!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?" **(So polite.)**

Draco didn't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. **(In mid-air? He fell onto the ground and went splat? Ouch.)** I walked out of it too, curiously. **(And you as well? That'll hurt tomorrow, which is a good thing, actually. The more pain Enoby is in, the happier I am)**

"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily. **(Take a chill-pill, GOD.)**

"Ebony?" he asked.

"What?" I snapped.

Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) **(My friend wears contacts...I should buy her coloured ones and make her wear them to school) **which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore. **(What? I'd be checking him into a mental asylum if he looked like that! Actually, they'd take one look at Enoby and chuck her in as well!**

And then… suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately **(Oh, no...)**. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra **(OHH! –gasp- HOW SCANDALOUS!1111)**. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time. **(You actually phrased it like that? Really? REALLY?)**

"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm **(o_o)**. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then….

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!" **(BEST LINE EVER HANDS DOWN.)**

It was….Dumbledore!

**The chapters are so short...although I can't say anything, seeing as I write short fanfics myself.**

**~Stephano**


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm so bored, so I'm just uploading like an insane person! It's 9:20 pm at night here! And I'm not even tired! Not at all! Nope!**

Chapter 5.

AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! **(That makes 99.9 percent of the reading world a prep or 'posr')** Da only reson Dumbledeor swor is coz he had a hedache ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! **(Perfect reason to swear loudly)** PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws! **(Y' hear that? She said she wouldn't update 'til she got five good 'revoiws'!)**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dumbledore made and Draco and I follow him. **(What if they hadn't've followed him?)** He kept shouting at us angrily.

"You ludacris fools!" he shouted. **(Amazing insult right there)**

I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face **(I Google'd "Tears of Blood" and came up with really screwed up images O.O)**. Draco comforted me. **(I would have shoved her, personally).** When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall who were both looking very angry. **(...why? Did Dumbledore wake Snape up from his beauty sleep?)**

"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" **(I LOVE THAT. One day, I want an excuse to say that in public)** he yelled in a furious voice.

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" **(Another great insult right there. GO MCGONAGALL!) **asked Professor McGonagall.

"How dare you?" demanded Professor Snape.

And then Draco shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!" **(-facepalm x 9000-)**

Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad but Professor Snape said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms." **(No punishment? Very strange justice system; apparently shrieking "BECAUSE I LOVE HERE!" is a valid excuse!)**

Draco and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

"Are you okay, Ebony?" Draco asked me gently. **(She's perfectly fine, clearly!)**

"Yeah I guess." I lied **(See? I told you!)**. I went to the girl's dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels **(Why? Who wears that to bed?) **When I came out….

Draco was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing 'I just wanna live' by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there. **('Flattered'!? I'd be like: "HOW DID YOU BREAK THE ENCHANTMENT THAT KEEPS MALES AWAY!?")**We hugged and kissed. **(Nice.)**After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room. **(I bet he was secretly glad to leave her)**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xx**

**Cordial is the drink of heaven, I think.**

**~Stephano**


	6. Chapter 6

**Guess what! My birthday is on the same day as Harry Potter's and J.K. Rowling's!**

Chapter 6.

AN: shjt **(lol, that looks lile 'shit')** up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows! **('goood revows'; does she want us to renew are matrimonial vows?)**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. **(YOU MIGHT NOT BELEIVE THIS, BUT I DON"T CAAAARE!) **I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple. **(Isn't that dangerous?)**

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula **(I actually wanna try that)** cereal with blood instead of milk **(On second thoughts...)**, and a glass of red blood**(Wouldn't that be disgusting after a few minutes? And where is the blood coming from anyway?)**. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.

"Bastard!" I shouted angrily** (What's her problem, besides the obvious?)**. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it **(Oh. **_**Hell**_**. No.) **. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face **(You were going down his face? Gross!)** and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn't have glasses anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco's and there was no scar on his forhead anymore. **(-cries-) **He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent **(You know this how?)**. He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko. **(Why would you...?_**

"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice. **(FREAKING HECK.)**

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.

"My name's Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days." he grumbled. **(No. This is bull. She can't have.)**

"Why?" I exclaimed.

"Because I love the taste of human blood." he giggled. **(Damnit all! She made HARRY FREAKIN' POTTER A VAMPIRE.)**

"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed.

"Really?" he whimpered.

"Yeah." I roared. **(I always find those two lines funneh!)**

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him. **(He threw you off a cliff? Please...)**

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**Listening to the most stupid song ever, why is it even on my Ipod? **_**'He's my best friend, best of all best friends! Do you have a best friend too?" **_**ARGH!**

**~Stephano**


	7. Chapter 7

**AH, one of my favourite chapters! LOLS ALL AROUND.**

Chapter 7. Bring me 2 life **(Thanks for ruining one of my favourite songs.)**

AN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws. n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons! STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! Evony isn't a Marie Sue ok she isn't perfect SHES A SATANITS! n she has problemz shes depressed 4 godz sake! **(I didn't understand that at all.)**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXZXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Draco and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Satanist sings on my nails in red nail polish **(Her nail polish...changes?)** (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?) **(Yes.)**. I waved to Vampire. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. **(How can you see that!?) **I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Draco. Anyway **(love how you can just ignore that!)**, I went upstairs excitedly with Draco. We went into his room and locked the door. Then…

We started frenching passively and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my black leather bra and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy's thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?) **( MY EYES! IT BURNS!)**

"Oh Draco, Draco!" I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Draco's arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words… Vampire! **(So?)**

I was so angry. **(That sentence has so much feeling in it.)**

"You bastard!" I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

"No! No! But you don't understand!" Draco pleaded. But I knew too much. **(What exactly do you know? Seriously!)**

"No, you fucking idiot!" I shouted. "You probably have AIDs anyway!" **(Oooooooh!)**

I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Draco ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care **(o.o)**. I stomped out and did so until I was in Vampire's classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Snape and some other people.

"VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I yelled. **(So...Draco's naked and following Enoby to Vampire's class? Bear in mind that Enoby and Draco should be in class as well?)**

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**This fanfiction...is just NASTY. But so funny at the same time**

**~Stephano**


	8. Chapter 8

**My laptop is nearly out of charge :( Woe is me...**

Chapter 8.

AN: stop flassing **(Don't tell me what to do!)** ok! if u do de prep!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXX

Everyone in the class stared at me and then Draco came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back. **(And nobody cares? I would have screamed by now)**

"Ebony, it's not what you think!" Draco screamed sadly. **(I know right? GOD, Enoby! Get it together!)**

My friend B'loody Mary Smith smiled at me understatedly. She flipped her long waste-length gothic black hair and opened her crimson eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on. She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on. Hermione **(GO DIE IN A HOLE, TARA!111 I don't even LIKE Hermione much, but this is just CRUEL and UNUSUAL!)** was kidnapped when she was born. Her real parents are vampires and one of them is a witch but Voldemort killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed. It also turns out her real last name is Smith and not Granger. (Since she has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now not Griffindoor. ) **(-weeping-)**

"What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!" **(Yet another amazing insult) **Snape demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him. **(Ignoring is rude, Enoby. Didn't your parents teach you this? Actually, you probably ignored them as well, seeing as that they are probably rather normal and decent compared to you!)**

"Vampire, I can't believe you cheated on me with Draco!" I shouted at him.

Everyone gasped.

I don't know why Ebony was so mad at me. I had went out with Vampire **(Random POV change?)** (I'm bi and so is Ebony) for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Britney, a stupid preppy fucker **(Hateful)**. We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.) **(Everyone here is gothic, I've noticed.)**

"But I'm not going out with Draco anymore!" said Vampire. **(I never would have guessed)**

"Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!" I screamed. **(POV change?) **I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virility **(He took her sex drive?) **to Draco and then I started to bust into tears. **(Lovely)**

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**This is such a retarded chapter, by God! And now I've plugged myu laptop in, it hurts my eyes :c**

**~Stephano**


	9. Chapter 9

**Seriously.**

Chapter 9.

AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn red all da boox! dis is frum da movie ok so itz nut my folt if dumbeldor swers! besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! and da reson snap dosent lik harry now is coz hes christian and vampire is a satanist! MCR ROX!( **I don't even know...)**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXX

I was so mad and sad **(Great line right there)**. I couldn't believe Draco for cheating on me **(That's the point. He **_**didn't**_**)**. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Draco. **(And you know that's that same poor tree **_**how?**_**)**

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man **('an horrible man?' THIS SENTENCE...)** with red eyes and no nose and everything started flying towards me on a broomstick! He didn't have a nose (basically like Voldemort in the movie) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic **(Oh, I don't know. Voldy could be gothic, you know!)**. It was… Voldemort! **(You gave that away a sentence ago)**

"No!" I shouted in a scared voice but then Voldemort shouted "Imperius!" and I couldn't run away. **(Pity)**

"Crookshanks!" I shouted at him **(So, that's now a curse? "Crookshanks!" "OW! MY FACE!")**. Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist so I stopped. **(What?)**

"Ebony." he yelled. "Thou must kill Vampire Potter!" **(Ah, yes, Shakespearian Voldy!)**

I thought about Vampire and his sexah **(what is 'sexah') **eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden **(...)**. I remembered that Draco had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Draco went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up? **(Ding Ding! Congratulations, Enoby, on figuring out the **_**logical explination**_**!)**

"No, Voldemort!" I shouted back.

Voldemort gave me a gun **(Because a wand simply won't cut it)**. "No! Please!" I begged.

"Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco!" **(Damn, Shakespearian Voldy! Best character ever!)**

"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way.

Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face **(Omigosh I can just imagine that!)**. "I hath telekinesis." **(That would make no difference)**he answered cruelly. "And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Draco!" he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick. **(Lol, he got on his broomstick and flew jerkily away in anger)**

I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Draco came into the woods. **(So, Draco was there the whole time?)**

"Draco!" I said. "Hi!" **(So cheerful! How can you be so cheerful when Shakespearian-Voldemort just threatened you! And, I just thought of something: where did Enoby put the gun!?)**

"Hi." he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit)**(Yet you said 'crosses' earlier)** between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"No." he answered. **(Well, at least he's honest.)**

"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me." I expelled.

"That's okay." he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out. **(What a wonderful way to end a chapter!)**

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**Wow, I've done so much o.o...**

**~Stephano**


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER 10! I made it in one night!**

Chapter 10.

AN: stup it u gay fags **( So rude!)** if u donot lik ma story den fukk off! ps it turnz out b'loody mary isn't a muggle afert al n she n vampire r evil datz y dey movd houses ok! **(...Please repeat in English)**

XXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I was really scared about Vlodemort **(haha)** all day. I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Rose 666. I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar. People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot and MCR.**( You probably sound like a dying whale, just saying)**. The other people in the band are B'loody Mary, Vampire, Draco, Ron (although we call him Diabolo now **(NOOOOO...!)**. He has black hair now with blue streaks in it.) and Hargrid. Only today Draco and Vampire were depressed so they weren't coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Draco was probably slitting his wrists (he wouldn't die because he was a vampire too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there's no way I'm writing that) or a steak) and Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride **(which is one of the best movies ever and not depressing)**. I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt. You might think I'm a slut but I'm really not.**(Yes. You are. You are in denial)**

We were singing a cover of 'Helena' and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears. **(Random)**

"Ebony! Are you OK?" B'loody Mary asked in a concerted voice. **(Clearly she is.)**

"What the fuck do you think?" I asked angrily **(No need to be waspish! She was just asking! GOSH.)**. And then I said. "Well, Voldemort came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Harry! But I don't want to kill him, because, he's really nice, even if he did go out with Draco. But if I don't kill Harry, then Voldemort, will fucking kill Draco!" **(She dropped the F-bomb 3 times in that sentence. No need too.)** I burst into tears.  
Suddenly Draco jumped out from behind a wall. **("HAHAHAHA!1111 I'VE BEEN EAVSDROPPING THIS WHOLE TIME!1111!1)**

"Why didn't you fucking tell me!" he shouted. "How could you- you- you fucking poser muggle bitch!" (c is dat out of character?) **(Dare I comment?)**

I started to cry and cry. Draco started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out crying.**(So...musch...agnst...)**

We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly Dumbeldore walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn't cause he had a headache. **(Ooooh, angry Dumbledore! –grabs popcorn-)**

"What have you done!" He started to cry wisely. (c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y)**(how can you cry wisely?)** "Ebony Draco has been found in his room. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists." **(DUN DUN DUUUUUUNN!111)**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**Such a plot twist ending! I'm literally in the edge of my seat here.**

**~Stephano**


	11. Chapter 11

**I'm strange. Why? Because I wear t-shirts in winter and jumpers in summer.**

**I should do a disclaimer: I don't own the story (thank God) or this...so-call 'Harry Potter'-verse. If I did, I would have died of shame by now.**

Chapter 11.

AN: i sed stup flaming up prepz! c if dis chaptr is srupid!1111 **(I can hardly wait!)** it delz wit rly sris issus! **(Translation? Oh..OH! Shesaid something about serious isses?)** sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid **(I already think it is, and this is only the author's note!) **brw fangz 2 ma frend **(i.e. the only person who is willing to be in your company for more than half an hour)** raven 4 hleping me!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"NO!" I screamed. I was horrorfied **(*gasp*) (I just realised she misspelt 'horrified'! 'Horr-or-fied'!)**! B'loody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off **(lovely)**and I ran to my room crying myself. **(You were crying yourself?)** Dumbledore chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way. **(So he ran through the Slytherin Common Room, up into the girl's area and suddenly stopped in front of Enoby's room?)**

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists **(Why must you phrase it so CALMLY!?111)**. They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily **(How...?)**while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume **(I think you're gonna be deaf by the end of this story, love)**. I grabbed a steak **(A piece of **_**meat**_**? I'm vegetarian, but I could learn to LOVE steak if it can kill Enoby!)**and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly **(It had sand on it!? Eww!)**. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff **(accurate description right there)** on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn't fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me **(even though you're fully dressed)**! And Loopin was masticating to it **(He was eating to it? O.O)**! They were sitting on their broomsticks. **(With amazing balance)**

"EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED **(YOU'RE NOT BLOODY NAKED!)**! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!" I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. Suddenly Vampire ran in. **(Into her bathroom when Dumbledore himself couldn't?)**

"Abra **(**_**"Abra!" Vampire threw the pokeball in his hand, "I choose YOU!111" **_**No, seriously, ABra are shit Pokemon, until they evolve.)** Kedavra!" he yelled at Snape and Loopin pointing his womb **(-disgusting mental image-)**. I took my gun and shot Snape and Loopin a gazillion **(I just looked up the word 'gazillion'. DAMN, that's a lot of zeros!)** times and they both started screaming and the camera broke **(THEY WOULD HAVE BEEN INCINERATED)**. Suddenly, Dumblydore **(lol)** ran in. "Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! **(Darth Vader Moment?)**" he shouted looking at Snape and Loopin and then he waved his wand and suddenly…**(The suspension is killing me!)**  
Hargrid ran outside on his broom **(Lol, I can imagine that! Hagrid awkwardly shuffling along on a broom that could not logically hold his weight)** and said everyone we need to talk.

"What do you know, Hargrid? You're just a little Hogwarts student!" **(Since when?)**

"I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT…." Hargirid paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!" **(My friend showed me this, and I just pissed myself laughing!)**

"This cannot be." Snap said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumblydore's wand had shot him **(I need to learn from these guys how to be calm when injured!)**. "There must be other factors."

"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I yelled in madly. **(Any what? Factors?)**

Loopin held up the camera triumelephantly **(Oh gosh...)**. "The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!" **(But...she has her clothes on...WHY BOTHER?)**

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood. **(Nice)**

"Why are you doing this?" Loopin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook.

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint. **(NO.)**

"BECAUSE…BECAUSE…." Hargid said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent. **(PLEASE NO! I LOVE YOU HAGRID! DON'T SAY IT!)**

"Because you're goffic?" Snap asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan. **(Lol, I can see him sounding like that)**

"Because I LOVE HER!" **(DAMNIT.)**

* * *

**Freaking hell! I love Hagrid! WHY MUST SHE WOUND ME IN THIS WAY D':**

**~Stephano**


	12. Chapter 12

**I actually commentated on this ages ago, but only just got around to finishing it, because I'm lazy as hell. Well, at least this chapter is longer, I guess. It looks so gloomy outside today; Enoby would love it!**

* * *

Chapter 12.

AN: stop f,aing **(What?)** ok hargrid is a pedo 2 a lot of ppl in amerikan skoolz r lik dat I wunted 2 adres da ishu! **(I'm so grateful that I don't go to an American school right now)** how du u no snap iant kristian **(Well, he's a wizard, which is a pretty good giveaway)** plus hargrid isn't really in luv wif ebony dat was sedric ok! **(Don't you DARE bring Cedric into this!)**

XXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I was about to slit my wrists again with the silver knife that Drago **(Sound's like Dan's Bakugan from **_**Bakugan**_**)** had given me in case anything happened to him. He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together. **(I'm listening to **_**Don't Cry **_**by Guns N' Roses now, and it strangely fits the scene? I'm weird, I guess)**

"NO!" I THOUGHT IT WAS HAIRgrid **(Well, he does have a lot of hair...)**but it was Vampire. He started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites. **(Question: Is that even medically **_**possible**_**? Even for a 'vampire', that's pretty good.)**

I stopped. "How did u know?" **(I think if your scar was hurting you'd KNOW)**

"I saw it! And my scar turned back into the lightning bolt!"

"NO!" I ran up closer. "I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted. _**("Hahahaha!" Vampire grinned insanely at me, "I tricked you, bitch! And now..." He extended his hands and wrapped them around my throat...)**_

"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and it turned back into the lightning bolt **(Lightning bolts are much more chic than pentagrams!)**! Save me **(random)**! then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco….Volfemort has him bondage!"

Anyway I was in the school nurse's office now recovering from my slit wrists **(That was random)**. Snap and Loopin and HAHRID **(I lol'd so hard when I first saw that spelling!)** were there too. They were going to St. Mango's **(I love mangoes)** after they recovered cause they were pedofiles **(They are files on Paedophiles?)** and you can't have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot gurlz. Dumbledore had constipated the cideo camera they took of me naked **(...BAD mental image!)**. I put up my middle finger at them. **(At who?)**

Anyway Hargrid came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses.

"Enoby I need to tell u somethnig." he said in a v. serious voice, giving me the roses. **(How could you read 'v. serious voice' without cracking a smile?)**

"Fuck off." I told him **(So nice)**. "You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway **(says the girl who wears pink and sleeps in a PINK coffin!) **, and I don't like fucked up preps like you." I snapped. Hargrid had been mean to me before for being gottik **('Gottik?" I'M DYING)**.

"No Enoby." Hargrid says. "Those are not roses **(Then what the hell are they?)**."

"What, are they goffs too you poser prep **(?)**?" I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses. **(BE GRATEFUL SOMEONE BOTHER, YOU UNGRATEFUL DUNCE!)**

"I saved your life!" He yelled angrily. "No you didn't I replied." "You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video made from your shower scene and being vued by Snap and Loopin." Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong) to it he added silently. **(That was just...)**

"Whatever!" I yelled angirly.

He pointed his wand at the pink roses. "These aren't roses." He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that's all you haD TO SAY! .

"That's not a spell that's an MCR song." I corrected him wisely. **(Why must there be MCR references sprinkled in this fanfiction? I mean, I dislike that band, but Tara's RUINING them.)**

"I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes." Then he screamed. "Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio(4 all u cool goffic mcr fans out, there, that is a tribute! specially for raven I love you girl!)imo noto okayo!" **(I've looked those words up and I STILL have no idea what the hell they mean!)**

And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black. Now I knew he wasn't a prep. **(Really? All you have to do is do what Hargrid did and you're not a prep? Interesting...)**

"OK I believe you now wtf is Drako?" **(How would he know? And isn't Draco dead?)**

Hairgrid rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing. **(They're black. OF COURSE you couldn't see anything!)**

"U c, Enobby," Dumblydore said, watching the two of us watching the flame. "2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT) u mst find urslf 1st, k?" **(That was painful to read)**

"I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD MAN!" Hargrid yelled **(OOC much? Although, everyone in this is OOC. It must be a requirement for this world. "Hello, and welcome to **_**My Immortal**_** character auditions! Requirements are that you must be 1000 percent goffic and OOC! Good luck, dears!")**. dUMBLydore lookd shockd. I guess he didn't have a headache or else he would have said something back.

Hairgrid stormed off back into his bed. "U r a liar, prof dumbledoree!" **(There's a bed that would hold Hairgrid's weight?)**

Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather minidress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was some corset stuff on the front. **(Ah, finally, my ipod is playing more upbeat rock! Slaying the Dreamer is one of my favourite songs at the moment.)**Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong **(Who is that?) **on them. I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Samara from the Ring (if u don't know who she iz ur a prep so fuk off!) **(She's freaking nasty...my friend has seen that movie, and I have no intention of watching it!)**and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss. **(But...that's so...No. Black lipgloss is **_**not **_**attractive!)**

"You look kawai , girl." B'loody Mary said sadly. "Fangs (geddit)**(No)** you do too." I said sadly too, but I was still upset. I slit both of my wrists feeling totally depressed and I sucked all the blood. **(The song "Happy" s now playing...Enoby should hear this!)**I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Snap and Loopin couldn't spy on me this time. I went to some classes. Vampire was in the Hair of Magical Magic Creatures **(Best. Class. Ever.)**. He looked all depressed because Draco had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Draco. He was sucking some blood from a Hufflepuff. **(...!? I AM A HUFFLEPUFF!)**

"Hi." he said in a depressed way. "Hi back." I said in an wqually **(What's that?)**said way.

We both looked at each other for some time. Harry had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Dracos. Then… we jumped on each other and started screwing each other. **(Nice. You're cheating on your boyfriend with his ex.)**

"STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!" shouted Professor McGoggle **(GO MCGOGGLE)** who was watching us and so was everyone else. **(Everyone in the class: -scarred for life-)**

"Vampire you fucker!" I said slapping him. "Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Draco!" **(YOU LET HIM-! Ugh! I can't deal with this...)** I shouted and then I ran away angrily.

Just then he started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites. **(Déjà Vu?) **

"NO!" I ran up closer.

"I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted. **(**_**YOU THOUGHT WRONG**_**)**

"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco….Volfemort has him bondage!" **(We went through this before...)**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXX

SPECIAL FANGZ 2 RAVEN MY GOFFIX BLOOD SISTA WTF UR SUPPOZD 2 RIT DIS!11111111 **(No. I actually pity Raven somewhat)**

HEY RAVEN DO U KNOW WHERE MY SWEATER I **(Your sweater what?)**

* * *

**Ugh...that was just...no. I can't even...**

**~Stephano**


	13. Chapter 13

**Yay, another chapter! I'm on holidays now, which is good. My friend has my book, so I can't do my homework, though. Oh, what a shame.**

* * *

Chapter 13.

AN: raven fangz 4 gelpin me agen **(I'm not gonna' even imagine what this looked like before Raven's 'help')** im sory ah tok ur postr of gerard but dat guy is such a fokin sexbom! **(Great reason to steal a poster...how did you manage that, anyways?)**PREPZ STOP FLAMIGNG! **(Flamigng? What's that?)**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Vampire and I ran up the stairs looking for Dumbledore. We were so scared. **(Why? I don't even know why...oh wait.)**

"Dumbledore Dumblydore!" we both yelled **(In unison?)**. Dumbledore came there. **(My dirty mind will be my downfall)**

"What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?" he asked angrily. **(Another great insult! God, this fanfic is full of them, and I'm not being sarcastic!)**

"Volsemort has Draco!" we shouted at the same time. **(That's...creepy. In unison? Not even me and my friends do that...much.)**

He laughed in an evil voice. **(EVIL DUMBLEDORE)**

"No! Don't! We need to save Draco!" we begged. **(No, we don't.)**

"No." he said meanly. "I don't give a darn what Voldemort does to Draco **(Someone with sense!)**. Not after how much he misbehaved in school especially with YOU Ebony **(I know, right? **_**Gosh**_**, Enoby!)**." he said while he frowned looking at me. "Besides I never liked him that much anyway. **(That was my opinion of him until about...the sixth book?)**" then he walked away. Vampire started crying. "My Draco!" he moaned. (AN: don't u fik gay guyz r lik so hot!) **(The one thing me and the author agree on, I have to admit)**

"Its okay!" I tried to tell him but that didn't stop him. **(What if it had? Ponder that for a moment, readers, ponder it...)** He started to cry tears of blood **(That is so far from normal. Then again, so is the story, if it can be called that)**. Then he had a brainstorm **(Wow.)**. "I had an idea!" he exclaimed.

"What?" I asked him.

"You'll see." he said. He took out his wand and did a spell **(What spell?)**. Then… suddenly we were in Voldemprt's lair! **(Oh. He Apperated?)**

We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a croon voice say. "Allah Kedavra!" **(He crooned?)**  
It was….. Voldemort! **(-gasp- I DID NOT EXPECT THAT!)**

* * *

**I'm really tired today, for some reason. Meh, who knows.**

**¬Stephano**


	14. Chapter 14

**I've decided something! I'm gonna' make Enoby on Sims! Lol, imagine that!**

* * *

Chapter 14.

AN: fuk off PREPZ ok! Raven fangz 4 helpin agen **(-sigh-)**. im sory ah kudnt **(Say what?)** update but I wuz derperessd n I had 2 go 2 da hospital kuz I slit muh rists **(Love, I honestly don't believe you, im afraid. Although, maybe that's because I'm naturally a highly suspicious person)**. PS im nut updating til u giv me 10 god revoiws! **(Good luck with that)**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXX

WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD. **(-through laughter- Thanks for the warning!)**

We ran to where Volcemort was. It turned out that Voldemort wasn't there. **(OH, MY GOD.)** Instead the fat guy who killed Cedric was **(You mean Wormtail?)**. Draco was there crying tears of blood. **(Unhealthy!)** Snaketail **(-headdesk-)**was torturing him. Vampire and I ran in front of Snaketail.

"Rid my sight you despicable preps!" he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun he Then **(...what?) **suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes. **(Are you freaking serious!?)**"EbonyIloveyouwiluhavesexwithme." **(Yes, she is)** he said. (in dis he is sixteen yrs old so hes not a pedofile ok) **(Still!)**

"Huh?" I asked.  
"Enoby I love you will you have sex with me?" **(That's just so...random.)** asked Snaketail. I started laughing crudely. "What the fuck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to fuck you? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard." I said angrily. Then I stabbed him in the heart. Blood pored out of it like a fountain. **(I'm thinking of that Monty Python Sketch where the lion has a single stream of blood come from his chest...I can't really describe it, my apologies.)**

"Nooooooooooooo!" he screamed. He started screaming and running around **(Why would you be running around if you're DYING?)**. Then he fell down and died. I brust **(?)**into tears sadly.

"Snaketail what art thou doing?" called Voldemort. Then… he started coming! **(I won't even say it)**We could hear his high heels clacking to us**(...-snorts, unsuccessfully stifling laughter)**. So we got on our broomsticks and we flew to Hogwarts. We went to my room **(Who is 'we'?)**. Vampire went away. There I started crying.

"What's wrong honey?" **(OH. Draco went with them...I understand)** asked Draco taking off his clothes so we could screw**(Great. "Thanks for saving me, love! Let's screw each other!")**. He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah) and a really huge you-know-what and everything. **(! Nice mentally-scarring image right there.)**

"Its so unfair!" I yielded. "Why can't I just be ugly or plain like all da other girls and preps here except for B'loody Mary, because she's not ugly or anything."  
"Why would you wanna be ugly? I don't like the preps anyway. They are such fucking sluts." answered Draco.

"Yeah but everyone is in love with me! Like Snape and Loopin took a video of me naked. Hargrid says he's in love with me. Vampire likes me and now even Snaketail is in love with me! I just wanna be with you ok Draco! Why couldn't Satan have made me less beautiful?" I shouted angrily. (an" don't wory enoby isn't a snob or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told her shes pretty)**(Those people were probably lying. Scratch that, they **_**were **_**lying. Or blind.)** "Im good at too many things! **(Sheesh...arrogant much?)**WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT'S A FUCKING CURSE!" I shouted and then I ran away. **(So...wait a second. This bit that I just read happened when Draco was partially/wholly naked? O.O)**

* * *

**¬Stephano-who-goes-back-to-school-tomorrow**


End file.
